“Goodnight, Brielle.”

”…”

“…Car…ter…”

“”Yes?”

“Will you stay with me? Forever?”

Pause. There was a long pause. She remembered me. She called my name and I felt so happy. It was the last time that she called my name. Then, she asked me. Will I stay with her? Not for that night only but she meant forever. After that, there was a long pause. t is just so disappointing that she never heard me reply. When she asked me that, I felt like I am very important to her. She entrusted her whole life and future to me. And then I knew, before she left me, she loved me.

There were a lot of thoughts that ran in my head. The long pause gave me enough time to reminisce the past, present, and future life that I have with her. We were still young when she asked me the same question to me for the first time. It was the happiest day of my life. Because I noticed that she is special and very important to me. There are about six billion people in this cruel world. With different faces, characters, ambitions, and lives. But I knew that I only needed one. My first crush, first love, puppy love, teenage love, last love, and my one true love. It was her. I am sure of that.

“Love is like the wind. You can’t see it but you can feel it.” 

This is taken from the movie, A Walk to Remember. This is her favorite movie and book. I can somehow relate to the boy here. He is Landon. Before, he is somewhat a brat in his own age. Until he meets this girl and gets closer to her. This girl changes his life. She is Jamie. Just like Jamie, Brielle is also sick. Brielle also changed my life. That is the reason why I am very grateful to her. 

I never wanted to be alone. All my life, the people I love leaves me alone behind. That is the reason why I am afraid to love someone. This is what I hate most with my life. Anyways, If I were given a chance to have a wish and make it come true, it would be her. Even though I can’t see her, I can still feel and hear her. I know that she’s with me. She’s beside me. She remains in my heart. There is no one like her. My dear Brielle.

After the long pause, I promised her that I will never leave her alone. I know that she can still hear me while I was saying that. I believe that she still can. I believe that she heard and she knows what I said. I held her hand. I was hoping that she would hold my hand back. Sadly, she didn’t. I saw a diamond ring placed in her finger. That was the exact ring that I gave her when I proposed to her. It was last Christmas. It was snowing outside and we had a serious conflict. I thought she threw the ring away but she didn’t. She still loved and cared me after all the harsh words that we exchanged to each other. That argument made her sick. I am really sorry to her. It feels like I am the very reason why she got sick. All my life, I blamed myself for hurting her feelings. I promised her that I wouldn’t but it turned out that I am just good in saying sweet words but in real life, I can’t do and apply it. I guess I really broke all my promises including that which broke her heart for several times. I feel guilty. I don’t deserve her. I don’t deserve her love.

“Brielle, I - I am very sorry.”

I called the nurses and they immediately came in the ward. I went to the corner of the small and cozy room. I watched them all getting too busy to revive Brielle. I was crying real hard. If could look in front of the mirror and look at myself while million teardrops are falling, I could see that I look pitiful. My emotions burst from my heart. It started aching. I went outside to catch some air. I looked at the things the way they were before. I looked back even if they told me not to.

Should I?